No Regrets

As a follow up to my Ducky post: I just lost my best friend last night. This is a choice issue. Getting drunk didn't help matters. Nor did smashing my fists into my car and bloodying up my hands out of frustration and anger (embarrassing, yes, but I didn't know what else to do). I confronted her with how I feel and have felt for at least a couple of years now and she doesn't feel the same. I'm like "her brother." Unfortunately, there's no way I can be around her now. She's also the main reason I was staying in this god forsaken town so I'm making plans with my folks right now to get a job on the Cherokee reservation teaching and moving to North Carolina. I may as well.

I've never felt so lost in my life.

Everything's Just Ducky

You know how sometimes you fall for your best friend, the one who's always been there for you no matter what for the last 6 years and you just know if you act upon your feelings you're going to blow everything and you two can't be friends anymore and you'll lose your best friend and end up lonelier than you've ever been in your life?

Yeah, it sucks.



Unfortunately, there's no prom at the end where some moderately attractive blond girl can "hey you" me at the end. Life just doesn't work like that.