A strange thing happened last week. When I was leaving for work, I walked up to my car and noticed the driver's side was covered with a white, powdery substance. I looked around and didn't see any of it on Roommate's car, nor on the other cars in the area. Of course, me in all my glorious paranoia thought at once that it was anthrax and someone was trying to kill me.
Anthrax. The good kind.
When rationality took over for knee-jerk reaction, I dipped my finger in it and took a whiff. Odorless. Since I was running late for work, I just hopped in my car and drove off. Was it some kind of concrete dust from the people in my neighborhood working on their houses? Doubtful since this was at about 7:30 or 8 in the morning. Was it some asshole who thought it would be funny to douse my car with God-knows-what? Possibly, but kind of unlikely. Maybe my car is a junkie and a had a nasty coke binge while I was asleep. Herbie never had it so good.
Later on in the day it rained for a bit and I was hoping it would wash all of the dust off of my car. No such luck. It actually made my car look worse. I wasn't too concerned, though, since I drive down South OBT on my way home from work. My filthy car fit right in. That night, I broke one of my rules for car washing: I took it into an automatic wash. This was mainly out of lack of time and energy to wash it myself. I decided to go for broke and got the most expensive wash there was, without realizing it was a no-touch car wash, the lousiest kind there is. I wasted $12. It didn't do a god damn thing to get my car clean. I wasn't mad, though. How could I be? I knew exactly what would happen if I used the auto car wash. I was just hoping beyond hope that I was wrong and automatic car wash technology had drastically improved since I last used a car wash. I mean, it's 2009! And all this a mere week after I berated someone else for using an auto wash. My optimism is a joke.
A couple of Black ladies just came by my house peddling their religion. They didn't get to knock on the door, though, because Roommate's dog went fucking apeshit when they approached. Haha! Good boy. That or they saw my "Republicans for Voldemort" bumper sticker and probably having no clue who Harry Potter is, they decided not to knock on the door of a possible McCain supporter. Hey, let them think what they want. As long as they stay the hell away from my house. I'd love nothing more than to answer the door one of these days dressed as the devil. How funny would that be? Even better: Green Man. That would totally freak them out.
Ohhhhh yeah.
The healthy lifestyle thing I've been into recently has been going rather well. I'm 3 weeks now with no drinking, 2 weeks of jogging and working out, and over a week of dieting. The detox part of the diet ended yesterday, so I pretty much said "fuck it, I'm done." Problem is, though, is it's become kind of habitual, which I suppose was the whole point. I want Wendy's in the worst way but I just can't stand the thought of eating it. I'd be happier with some asparagus. It's fucking scary. Another scary thing that happened was me jogging a straight 5 miles the other day without stopping. Up to then, I've been doing 4 miles with little rests here and there. I don't know what got into me, but I got to my 4 mile point and said, "The hell with it. I'm going to Forrest Gump this motherfucker." And Forrest Gump that motherfucker I did, indeed. I could have gone another mile or two but I made myself stop because I was starting to scare myself.
What in the hell has gotten into me? It's the little things. Like, the other day I went to itch between my waistband and waist, expecting to forcefully shove my thumb into a very tight spot. No such thing happened. My thumb slid right in with room to spare. Results keep me going. Holly said I'm slimming up so fast because I'm a guy. I think that might have a little to do with it. I also think it's mostly because I don't drink beer all the time anymore and I burn off most of the calories I consume.
I'll be looking like my boys before too long!!! And I'll look super rad in the new all black away kits they're putting out for the 2009-2010 season!
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